This Is How I Spent My Time: Twilight Fanfiction

Our Creative Writing teacher set us the homework of rewriting the end of a story, so I treated it with my usual seriousness and wrote an alternate ending for Breaking Dawn. To be honest, I much prefer my ending, but you can make your own judgments. Enjoy!

Then Bella woke up, and it was all just a dream.


‘Doctor, I’ve been having these dreams recently. I dreamt that I married a vampire, who ended up nearly killing me by getting me pregnant, and then I became a vampire, and then my werewolf best friend, who used to be in love with me, started lusting over my newly born child.’

The doctor looked sternly at the scrawny teenager. ‘Bella, tell me. This vampire, did he sparkle?’

‘Yes doctor. He did. In the sun he sparkled almost as much as the oversize engagement ring he gave me to show off his superior wealth.’

The doctor sighed, and looked away. It was a moment before he spoke again. ‘How long had he been seventeen in these dreams?’

‘A while, he said. I later learnt that he’d been seventeen ninety years. But he always treated me right, I never felt threatened. We had a connection, and we destroyed buildings, beds and pillows in showing it.’

The doctor shook his head, as if in horror, and seemed to struggle for something to say. ‘Don’t worry Bella; you’re not alone in this. Other people have suffered like you. Of course, many of such patients have been found with two puncture wounds in their necks, completely drained of blood, but each time it was ruled natural causes. You’re perfectly safe, vampires don’t exist in reality. Did he ever appear threatening to you?’

‘One time he told me to climb on his back, and he called me ‘spider monkey’, but I told him to stop objectifying me, and he never compared me to a monkey again.’

The doctor sucked in a breath. ‘It’s worse than I thought.’ His fingers drummed the highly polished marble of his desk as he attempted to process what he’d just heard.

‘He also ripped off another vampire’s head in front of me. But they were trying to kill me, so it was alright. I was also bitten on my arm.’

‘Can you show me?’ the doctor asked pleadingly.

The teenager pulled up her sleeve and the doctor winced in disgust. She’d certainly been bitten on her freakishly pale arms, he could tell, but not by a vampire. He made a mental note to prescribe her a flea remedy before she left. ‘There aren’t any marks… made by a vampire. You’re certainly not a vampire, so far as I can tell, either.’

‘Edward sucked the poison out of my arm, and his very wealthy and talented family took care of me after. He’s very noble.’

‘One of those.’ The doctor murmured, making a note in stereotypically awful writing.

‘Tell me what to do, doctor.’

He looked the strange looking girl straight in her bulging eyes. With her stringy black hair and living dead complexion, complete with a greenish tinge, she could well have been Samara from The Ring. ‘I’m going to write you a prescription for a great many pills, classify you as insane, and leave you to people who might actually care. Ok? Any questions?’


‘I’ll take that as a no. You should be glad that we’ve caught this now. Any later, and it’s likely that you’ll have been transformed into the main character of an intensely debauched novel called Fifty Shades of Grey, which would have been the foundation for other works bearing the categorisation of ‘mummy porn’ to crawl out of the woodwork. So. I won’t be seeing you later.’ The doctor waved goodbye as she lumbered out of his office, then locked it just to be sure.

This was just a little bit of fun, and a bit of a rebellion against being asked to write fanfiction. I was going to treat the work seriously, but then a friend suggested Twilight, and this came into being. It was also a bit of relief, as at the time it was written in between long pieces of coursework. It was only really for my benefit, but I hope that anyone reading it will also enjoy it. Feel free to let me know what you think!


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