A Script to Make You Laugh (Hopefully)

I was looking through my old pieces of work when I found this little gem. I obviously didn’t take this one seriously, as can be seen by the basic character info. It’s a script, but I don’t think it was based on a prompt. There doesn’t seem to be any indication that this was a prompt driven piece of writing. The question was How do we produce an engaging script that includes a change and allows us to connect to the characters? I think I failed.

Character plans

Sandra ‘soya’ Bean

  • Married to her work at the soya milk factory
  • Hobby is wine tasting
  • No close family
  • Lives in a flat above a shop
  • She doesn’t drive, but bikes everywhere
  • Her secret: not actually lactose intolerant, she just loves the taste of soya milk

Heidi McCaw

  • She’s single, but looking for love
  • Works as a bird of prey handler
  • Hobby is cactus gardening
  • Close to her sister
  • Lives in a semi detached house
  • Drives a small car
  • Her secret: she stole an owl once


(Two women are sat either side of a table at a coffee shop. Sandra has short brown hair, cut in a stylish bob. Heidi has long and tangled black hair, and a bright red bandana keeps her hair out of her face)

Heidi: So, where are you working now?

Sandra: I’m at that new soya milk factory. It’s just out of town.

Heidi: Oh yes? Enjoying it?

Sandra: It’s the best job I’ve ever had! Are you still into birds?

Heidi: I’ve never been out of them. (Pause) Can I get you a drink?

Sandra: Sure, thanks. Do they do soya lattes here?

Heidi: I think so. I’ll go see. (she goes to the counter, and comes back a minute later with a latte and a small glass)

Sandra: Thanks, I needed this. I’ll pay you back. What did you get?

Heidi: This one’s on me. And I got a shot of the Famous Grouse, which is one of the best I’ve ever had. Speaking of this, are you seeing anyone?

Sandra: (tosses her hair) I’m married to my work. (She sips her latte then spits it out) This isn’t soya!

Heidi: Sorry, they didn’t have soya milk, I just got you a normal one.

Sandra: I’m lactose intolerant, you mewling quim!

Heidi: I thought you weren’t, you always used to drink milk and stuff at school.

Sandra: People change, Heidi!

Heidi: Sorry! Sorry, I’ll get you another one.

Sandra: No no, I’ll be fine without.

(Long pause)

Heidi: Do you like birds?

Sandra: It depends on the type you’re talking about.

Heidi: Do you prefer greater tits or eagles?

Sandra: I don’t really know.


4 thoughts on “A Script to Make You Laugh (Hopefully)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s